Thursday, August 23, 2012


Not the movie, or the song, but that's how many girls I will have in February. Three. Whew, it's a little overwhelming. A little relieving. Mostly just overwhelming.

I never imagined myself as a mom to a clan of girls. I'm not girly, and I don't like girl stuff. I have one girl, and she is awesome- so I guess we're doing something right. I'm happy that the babies are healthy and growing well, and even a little happy that there is no boy in there.

But, part of me really wanted another boy. Not that he could replace Charlie, but he would be more like David than like me. We knew we would be all done having kids- and now we don't feel that way. It feels weird to be wrong for the first time as well. I've always accurately guessed my children's sexes until now. I guess I thought I was a bit more intuitive than I actually am.

A big part of me is relieved not to have to use the clothes I was given for Charlie, not to have the same feelings I had when he was born, and to just do something completely different this time. I can just put everything away that belonged to him and not look at it for awhile. I don't have to go to the boy section of the store, where so many of the clothes he wore are now on the clearance rack and where so many of the clothes remind me of what he would be wearing right now if he were still with us.

I think it will be an adventure: me and my three girls. I'll shout, "Girls, time to come in!" out into the yard and say things like, "the girls and I are going to the store," and "when my girls were born, blahblahblah." It's going to take some getting used to, but it's going to be okay.

Maybe we'll just pay $6,000 for the sperm selection deal next time to make sure it's a boy.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know what to say regarding the sex of the new baby. I also wish that this next one will be a boy, where before I liked being a girl household- it just sort of feels a little more empty now. I suspect that it will alwys feel a bit like that though as it is my son that I want, regardless of what sex the next baby will be.

    I am glad that you are starting to become excited about her arrival. I know that everything is a mixed blessing now, but I am happy to see that you are looking forward now as well as backwards.